LiftHER
Safety in relationships and public spaces
Feeling safe in your relationships and in the spaces you visit each day is an important part of your overall health and wellbeing. When that sense of safety is shaken, it can change the way you live, how you move through the world, and how you feel about yourself.
We’ve taken some time to consider how these issues affect women and girls, as the risks they encounter are often different and can shape everyday life in distinct ways. Equally, many of the patterns described here are not limited by gender. Some may feel familiar to anyone who has experienced control, fear, or behaviour that does not feel right.
Not everything is easy to spot. Sometimes it can be difficult to describe what you’re going through, and it’s tempting to brush certain experiences aside or make excuses for them. These patterns can appear in everyday life in many different ways, and they can affect both physical and mental wellbeing.
Your space. Your safety.
Your health.
Patterns of harm
Harm is not always easy to recognise. It can appear in different ways, happen in various places, and affect people in ways that others may not immediately see.
The topics below highlight some of the most common patterns of abuse, violence and control. Each one affects safety, health and wellbeing in different ways.
When doubt starts to creep in
Abuse can involve patterns of behaviour that shift the focus, create pressure, and leave you questioning what is real.
Conversations may be turned around, concerns dismissed, or responsibility pushed back onto you. Over time, this can affect how you think and how you respond. You may find yourself second-guessing what happened, replaying situations, or feeling unsure about how to make sense of it.
This kind of pressure can build gradually. It can affect your confidence, your ability to trust your own judgement, and how you see yourself. It may also begin to affect your sleep, concentration, and overall wellbeing.
If things feel confusing or difficult to describe, it does not mean nothing is going on. It can be a sign that something is wrong, even if you find it hard to put your feelings into words.
Journaling for clarity
Journaling can be a way of making sense of what is happening when things feel confusing or difficult to describe. Over time, it may help patterns become clearer and give you space to reflect on how situations are affecting you.
Some people write down facts. Others find it more helpful to note how something made them feel. It can also be a way of thinking more clearly about what matters to you, what feels safe, and what you may want for yourself in time. There is no single way to do it. What matters is that it feels safe, manageable, and useful to you.
If writing things down could place you at greater risk, it may not be the right step. Safety comes first.
Staying safe
The most important part of staying safe is awareness. This means paying attention to yourself, what is happening around you, and noticing anything that feels off or could present a risk.
Your intuition is a valuable guide. It is a natural response that can signal when something is not right, even if you cannot immediately explain why. Many people recognise this feeling but talk themselves out of it. Trusting that instinct can help you step back from situations or people that do not feel safe.
Staying safe is not only about avoiding harm. It is also about protecting your physical and mental health, maintaining your independence, and being able to move through everyday life with confidence.
Explore practical ways to stay safe
Use technology
Technology can play a part in personal safety. Some apps allow location sharing, SOS alerts, quick contact with trusted people, or access to local safety features.
What feels useful will vary from person to person. Some people want simple location sharing, while others may prefer extra features such as alerts, recording, or quick access to support.
The apps below are a starting point if you want to explore what is available. Features and costs vary, so it is worth checking what suits your needs best.
People you can talk to
Everyone’s situation is different. If you want to look at support in more detail, the services below bring together places where you can talk things through or find more specialist help.
Men’s Advice Line (Respect)
Confidential support for men experiencing domestic abuse from a partner or family member.
Call:
0808 801 0327
National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge)
Confidential, 24/7 support and safety planning for domestic abuse.
Call:
0808 200 0247
Rape Crisis
Specialist support for women and girls affected by rape, sexual assault or sexual abuse.
Call:
0808 500 2222
NSPCC
Support and advice for adults concerned about a child’s safety or wellbeing.
Call:
0808 800 5000
Paladin
Specialist advocacy for high-risk victims of stalking across England and Wales.
Call:
0203 866 4107
Revenge Porn Helpline
Support for people affected by intimate image abuse and online harassment.
Call:
0345 600 0459